Kamwadbom is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, weak gerbil.

Kamwadbom created light five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kamwadbom, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Kamwadbom, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Kamwadbom's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Kamwadbom's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kamwadbom.

2. Always look after injured foxes.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.

4. Put Kamwadbom first in all things.

5. Always stare at clouds.