Fadtomlogbot Lendanten Vidqueegarm is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, blissful narwhal.

Fadtomlogbot Lendanten Vidqueegarm created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fadtomlogbot Lendanten Vidqueegarm, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fadtomlogbot Lendanten Vidqueegarm, it will turn you into a worm.

Fadtomlogbot Lendanten Vidqueegarm's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Fadtomlogbot Lendanten Vidqueegarm's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fadtomlogbot Lendanten Vidqueegarm.

3. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

4. Never feed apples to geese while wearing pink corsets.

5. Never talk about cell theory.