Bissciptif is a god.

She takes the form of a large, kind shark.

Bissciptif created the solar system four years ago.

If you believe in Bissciptif, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bissciptif, she will turn you into a tree.

Bissciptif's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bissciptif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not hurt rats.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always look after injured doves.