Vidyarlcabab is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, vain cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Vidyarlcabab created everything that exists two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vidyarlcabab, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vidyarlcabab, she will destroy your home solar system.

Vidyarlcabab's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Vidyarlcabab's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into violet rooms.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.