Fagkadzeddid is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, unthoughtful faun.

Fagkadzeddid created vertebrates three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fagkadzeddid, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fagkadzeddid, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fagkadzeddid's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Fagkadzeddid's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Always help snails.

5. Do not drink alcohol.