Dibtonbarn is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, uncaring aardvark.

Dibtonbarn created an electron five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dibtonbarn, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dibtonbarn, she will send minions to preach to you.

Dibtonbarn's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Dibtonbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always help dolphins in need.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.