Fenominved is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, vain pig.

Fenominved created Asia seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fenominved, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fenominved, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Fenominved's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Fenominved's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Never feed corn to gulls while wearing mauve rings.

5. Respect your elders.