Tofhenfom is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, stupid lobster.

Tofhenfom created Mount Everest five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofhenfom, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tofhenfom, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tofhenfom's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Tofhenfom's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.

5. Always obey Tofhenfom's priests.