Kipquamhas is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, unjust eagle.

Kipquamhas created the Andromeda Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kipquamhas, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kipquamhas, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kipquamhas' most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Kipquamhas' Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Kipquamhas on top of all buildings.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never skip in holy places.