Vogarfstaflip Lakmegveen is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, astonishing mink.

Vogarfstaflip Lakmegveen created vertebrates two million years ago.

If you believe in Vogarfstaflip Lakmegveen, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vogarfstaflip Lakmegveen, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Vogarfstaflip Lakmegveen's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Vogarfstaflip Lakmegveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear ear rings.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never eat oranges.