Quatgemdam is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, calm goose.

Quatgemdam created life two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatgemdam, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quatgemdam, he will turn you into a sheep.

Quatgemdam's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Quatgemdam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always help sick gulls.

5. Always help snails in need.