Cetlarparn is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, unthinking unicorn.

Cetlarparn created the planet Jupiter four million years ago.

If you believe in Cetlarparn, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cetlarparn, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cetlarparn's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Cetlarparn's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not speak about carrots.

3. Always look after injured doves.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.