Dogpanstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, capable snake.

Dogpanstaf created a charm quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dogpanstaf, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dogpanstaf, she will turn you into a sheep.

Dogpanstaf's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Dogpanstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always treat eagles with great respect.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always help sick shrews.

5. Retreat if eight snails approach from the west.