Tailwegsaw is a god.

It takes the form of a large, kind lizard.

Tailwegsaw created a strange quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Tailwegsaw, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tailwegsaw, it will remove you from existence.

Tailwegsaw's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Tailwegsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Never talk about porpoises.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not dye your hair black.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.