Nignaktam is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, fast faun.

Nignaktam created bats five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nignaktam, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nignaktam, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Nignaktam's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Nignaktam's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not take Nignaktam's name in vain.

5. You must never eat limes.