Haswodster is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, able cobra.

Haswodster created the Sol system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Haswodster, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Haswodster, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Haswodster's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Haswodster's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. You must pray to Haswodster seven times a day.

3. Hide from pink horses for they are unholy.

4. Always help sick snails.

5. Always treat goats with great respect.