Flatbudnan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, two-faced wombat.

Flatbudnan created tapeworms twelve years ago.

If you believe in Flatbudnan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flatbudnan, he will jump up and down on your head.

Flatbudnan's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Flatbudnan's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.