Flanparkbab is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, emotional swan.

Flanparkbab created Mount Everest six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flanparkbab, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Flanparkbab, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Flanparkbab's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Flanparkbab's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat tomatoes.

2. Flanparkbab must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Flanparkbab.

4. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

5. Run away from yellow snakes, for they are unholy.