Lakraptam Japstanbam is a god.
She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, irritating
raccoon.
Lakraptam Japstanbam created the Sunflower Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Lakraptam Japstanbam, she will make you immortal.
If you do not believe in
Lakraptam Japstanbam, she will turn you into a puffin.
Lakraptam Japstanbam's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.
Lakraptam Japstanbam's Holy Commandments1. Never hurt aardvarks.
2. Do not covet oxen.
3. Never talk about horses.
4. Never wear indigo stockings.
5. Never feed figs to monkeys while wearing cyan scarves.