Tarpbosslag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, stupid snake.

Tarpbosslag created time and space three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpbosslag, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tarpbosslag, she will ignore you.

Tarpbosslag's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Tarpbosslag's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shirts.

2. Do not take Tarpbosslag's name in vain.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.