Jarnkamrig is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, slow wasp.

Jarnkamrig created a bottom quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jarnkamrig, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jarnkamrig, she will turn you into a mouse.

Jarnkamrig's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Jarnkamrig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always help sick whales.

3. Never talk about squirrels.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Birds are not to be trusted.