Tarptignutt Artbemarf is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, merciless dragon.

Tarptignutt Artbemarf created a strange quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarptignutt Artbemarf, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tarptignutt Artbemarf, she will turn you into a plant.

Tarptignutt Artbemarf's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Tarptignutt Artbemarf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never wear coats.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

4. You must never eat apples.

5. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.