Bushen Targmonzan is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, impressive penguin.

Bushen Targmonzan created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Bushen Targmonzan, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bushen Targmonzan, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bushen Targmonzan's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Bushen Targmonzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not wear red clothing.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.