Vadmadsaf is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, self-assured unicorn.

Vadmadsaf created everything that exists four million years ago.

If you believe in Vadmadsaf, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vadmadsaf, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vadmadsaf's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Vadmadsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight cats approach from the west.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vadmadsaf.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never go into indigo rooms.