Kemmobpib is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, humorless meerkat.

Kemmobpib created the world six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemmobpib, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kemmobpib, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Kemmobpib's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Kemmobpib's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of geese.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Worship no other gods but Kemmobpib.

4. Put Kemmobpib first in all things.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.