Bonkbugpog is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, dishonourable spider.

Bonkbugpog created the planet Earth three million years ago.

If you believe in Bonkbugpog, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bonkbugpog, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Bonkbugpog's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Bonkbugpog's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Never go into turquoise rooms.

3. Always help badgers.

4. Run away if seven sharks approach from the east.

5. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.