Vonsanvan is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, clever rhinoceros.

Vonsanvan created the Large Magellanic Cloud three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonsanvan, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vonsanvan, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Vonsanvan's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Vonsanvan's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Vonsanvan's priests.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.