Cettannurl is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unsympathetic tapir.

Cettannurl created energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cettannurl, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cettannurl, he will not invite you to parties.

Cettannurl's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Cettannurl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Never paint your head fawn.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not speak about peas.