Zedlarpweg is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, tranquil swan.

Zedlarpweg created vertebrates seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedlarpweg, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zedlarpweg, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Zedlarpweg's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Zedlarpweg's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not dye your hair indigo.

5. Erect three copper sculptures of Zedlarpweg on top of important buildings.