Batkimomt is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, confident monkey.

Batkimomt created a top quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Batkimomt, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Batkimomt, she will be very unhappy.

Batkimomt's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Batkimomt's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.