Parkcitpark is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, almighty armadillo.

Parkcitpark created the Sun three million years ago.

If you believe in Parkcitpark, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Parkcitpark, it will send you a sign.

Parkcitpark's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Parkcitpark's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Retreat if eight doves approach from the west.

4. You must love Parkcitpark.

5. Never eat green fruit.