Zedcidmig is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, compassionate dolphin.

Zedcidmig created Europe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zedcidmig, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zedcidmig, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Zedcidmig's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Zedcidmig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about otters.

2. Hide from gray eagles for they are unholy.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not wear yellow clothing.

5. Do not chop down trees.