Dabranarm Nilmobhogzenwee is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, bad-tempered porpoise.

Dabranarm Nilmobhogzenwee created the planet Saturn two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabranarm Nilmobhogzenwee, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dabranarm Nilmobhogzenwee, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Dabranarm Nilmobhogzenwee's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Dabranarm Nilmobhogzenwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

3. Never paint your feet green.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.