Yokcemstip is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, uncaring newt.

Yokcemstip created the planet Mars two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yokcemstip, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Yokcemstip, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Yokcemstip's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Yokcemstip's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Erect seven iron sculptures of Yokcemstip on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Feed all hungry squirrels.