Rankin is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, awesome mink.

Rankin created a charm quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Rankin, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Rankin, he will turn you into a mouse.

Rankin's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Rankin's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always help sick badgers.

3. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always help frogs in need.