Spagtompon is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, tiresome armadillo.

Spagtompon created the universe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spagtompon, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Spagtompon, she will come to you in dreams.

Spagtompon's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Spagtompon's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Spagtompon's priests.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Spagtompon loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

4. Never eat lemons.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.