Begzedtetti is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, grumpy camel.

Begzedtetti created an atom seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Begzedtetti, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Begzedtetti, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Begzedtetti's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Begzedtetti's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Begzedtetti three times a day.

2. Run away from pink turtles, for they are unholy.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always stare at clouds.