Veenxemsan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, clever hippopotamus.

Veenxemsan created an electron four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Veenxemsan, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Veenxemsan, she will torture you forever.

Veenxemsan's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Veenxemsan's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Hide from magenta manatees for they are unholy.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not shave your legs.

5. Never think about nebulae.