Larnvil is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, merciless fish.

Larnvil created the planet Venus eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnvil, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Larnvil, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Larnvil's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Larnvil's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bread.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Hide from magenta gulls for they are unholy.