Stipbetnell Stanzedbell is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, all-knowing rhinoceros.

Stipbetnell Stanzedbell created the solar system eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stipbetnell Stanzedbell, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Stipbetnell Stanzedbell, he will turn you into a dog.

Stipbetnell Stanzedbell's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Stipbetnell Stanzedbell's Holy Commandments

1. Stipbetnell Stanzedbell must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Stipbetnell Stanzedbell loves shrews, so they must be respected.

4. Erect four titanium sculptures of Stipbetnell Stanzedbell on top of important buildings.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Stipbetnell Stanzedbell.