Busnargumranabbenjigkik is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, dishonest cat.

Busnargumranabbenjigkik created viruses two billion years ago.

If you believe in Busnargumranabbenjigkik, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Busnargumranabbenjigkik, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Busnargumranabbenjigkik's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Busnargumranabbenjigkik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear orange clothing.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never talk about dolphins.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.