Fassidflis Stiknutthab is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, ruthless bat.

Fassidflis Stiknutthab created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Fassidflis Stiknutthab, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fassidflis Stiknutthab, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Fassidflis Stiknutthab's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Fassidflis Stiknutthab's Holy Commandments

1. Ants are not to be trusted.

2. Run away from mauve geese, for they are unholy.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Hide from red whales for they are unholy.