Tinkipflan is a god.

He takes the form of a large, benevolent crow.

Tinkipflan created a top quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tinkipflan, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tinkipflan, he will ignore you.

Tinkipflan's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Tinkipflan's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always wear pink.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never talk about manatees.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.