Flatcenleg is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, annoying mole.

Flatcenleg created the Black Eye Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Flatcenleg, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Flatcenleg, it will turn you into a puffin.

Flatcenleg's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Flatcenleg's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat corn.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never play with disobedient children.