Minbotquam is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, selfish shrew.

Minbotquam created light two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Minbotquam, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Minbotquam, he will not care.

Minbotquam's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Minbotquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Never eat figs.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not cook food in pots.