Kabbemlib is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, humorless turtle.

Kabbemlib created carbon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabbemlib, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kabbemlib, she will cry a lot.

Kabbemlib's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Kabbemlib's Holy Commandments

1. Put Kabbemlib first in all things.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Hide from blue tortoises for they are unholy.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.