Arnquambag is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, thoughtless otter.

Arnquambag created a down quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnquambag, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Arnquambag, she will turn you into a tree.

Arnquambag's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Arnquambag's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear pink.

2. Always help frogs.

3. Never feed turnips to turtles while wearing red ear rings.

4. Hide from blue mice for they are unholy.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.