Vildapflam is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, vain human.

Vildapflam created water seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vildapflam, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vildapflam, she will turn you into a mole.

Vildapflam's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Vildapflam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never hurt monkeys.

3. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

4. You must love Vildapflam.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.