Flabparkkim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, passionate alligator.

Flabparkkim created the Small Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Flabparkkim, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flabparkkim, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Flabparkkim's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Flabparkkim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never hurt goats.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Flabparkkim on top of all buildings.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never play with disobedient children.