Fligfittail is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, grumpy badger.

Fligfittail created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fligfittail, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fligfittail, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fligfittail's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Fligfittail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never skip in the presence of sharks.

5. Do not covet oxen.